Dear Blog,
I write to you from a broken heart. The world I once knew was wiped out yesterday. All I remember was a faint light and my hand as it clasped over my little brother's mouth. I did not want to hear him scream anymore, it was hard enough to see what he tried to see. I couldn't look much longer. It was not that the sight of the world ending was bad or anything, its just that I remembered when it was beautiful and full of life, but now its a shell of its former self. "Did you see how green the grass was today?" I ask myself this every night that I can (some nights I am exhausted from living during the day that I just crash at night and fall asleep to a musical silence of my dark room or the faint buzz from artificial light) because when I ask this I remember how to reflect on what the world used to look like. To me, the world died almost fifteen years ago. It started to fade and die and not be so bright as I could remember the previous day. Fifteen years ago I remember faintly an extremely bright day where the grass was at its greenest and the sky was as blue as a t-shirt I was wearing one of the days of the first week. But how can I blame the world for becoming faint every day since I was five years old and remembered that first fond memory that etched itself into my youthful, spongy brain. Since than I have so many more great, wonderful thoughts that I hope span the end of time and wish that I could capture every one of them in a bottle and allow other people to experience them. But, with great self-guilt and doubt I realize that all of my thoughts are not wonderful, some thoughts can be downright evil and sinister. Numb, I realized I have grown from constant deliveries from devils wound in devils of sustenance that I swallow despite not knowing what it is that I am downloading into my bloodstream through wires and small microelectronic modules. But its so delicious Blog, I cannot help myself sometimes and I realize that it is not all bad. Again I am torn between something that is solar and frigid. I see the sun in the horizon and venture toward it, sometimes deceivingly thinking that I will catch it and turn it into my own song. Someday it will happen. I will devour the sun the yesterday devoured the earth. Perhaps I can create my own light and develop my own music as sustenance to live on in a small wooden room attached the devil's quarters and the many god's townhouse apartments in Buxton, Ontario. But get me out there all of you who control my fate. I love you and will embrace you and your decision to attach myself to a face and live a life that supercedes other lives. My pain is not the pain of candy hearts nor human hearts, just the beating of it can take anything away from me and the way that I feel because despite the fact the world ended yesterday and I watched it disintegrate, I feel proud to have seen such a phenomenal sight. Unless some other madman saw it and than I have to compete with the celestial race that will soon enough reach the sun soon. I am happy. The world cannot take that away from me. It is a feeling that I found that day everything started to fade and writes itself into my body each and every day for the rest of eternity. Soon enough my dear. Thank you Blog for hearing me applauding your greatness. I am grateful for the opportunity to share this with you and hope to write you again at a time when you deem it necessary. Farewell.
-Sauce, 20 years of age and loving every minute of it
I write to you from a broken heart. The world I once knew was wiped out yesterday. All I remember was a faint light and my hand as it clasped over my little brother's mouth. I did not want to hear him scream anymore, it was hard enough to see what he tried to see. I couldn't look much longer. It was not that the sight of the world ending was bad or anything, its just that I remembered when it was beautiful and full of life, but now its a shell of its former self. "Did you see how green the grass was today?" I ask myself this every night that I can (some nights I am exhausted from living during the day that I just crash at night and fall asleep to a musical silence of my dark room or the faint buzz from artificial light) because when I ask this I remember how to reflect on what the world used to look like. To me, the world died almost fifteen years ago. It started to fade and die and not be so bright as I could remember the previous day. Fifteen years ago I remember faintly an extremely bright day where the grass was at its greenest and the sky was as blue as a t-shirt I was wearing one of the days of the first week. But how can I blame the world for becoming faint every day since I was five years old and remembered that first fond memory that etched itself into my youthful, spongy brain. Since than I have so many more great, wonderful thoughts that I hope span the end of time and wish that I could capture every one of them in a bottle and allow other people to experience them. But, with great self-guilt and doubt I realize that all of my thoughts are not wonderful, some thoughts can be downright evil and sinister. Numb, I realized I have grown from constant deliveries from devils wound in devils of sustenance that I swallow despite not knowing what it is that I am downloading into my bloodstream through wires and small microelectronic modules. But its so delicious Blog, I cannot help myself sometimes and I realize that it is not all bad. Again I am torn between something that is solar and frigid. I see the sun in the horizon and venture toward it, sometimes deceivingly thinking that I will catch it and turn it into my own song. Someday it will happen. I will devour the sun the yesterday devoured the earth. Perhaps I can create my own light and develop my own music as sustenance to live on in a small wooden room attached the devil's quarters and the many god's townhouse apartments in Buxton, Ontario. But get me out there all of you who control my fate. I love you and will embrace you and your decision to attach myself to a face and live a life that supercedes other lives. My pain is not the pain of candy hearts nor human hearts, just the beating of it can take anything away from me and the way that I feel because despite the fact the world ended yesterday and I watched it disintegrate, I feel proud to have seen such a phenomenal sight. Unless some other madman saw it and than I have to compete with the celestial race that will soon enough reach the sun soon. I am happy. The world cannot take that away from me. It is a feeling that I found that day everything started to fade and writes itself into my body each and every day for the rest of eternity. Soon enough my dear. Thank you Blog for hearing me applauding your greatness. I am grateful for the opportunity to share this with you and hope to write you again at a time when you deem it necessary. Farewell.
-Sauce, 20 years of age and loving every minute of it
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