Ok, so its about 3:40 AM, and i just finished writing a childrens book, now what gets me is the fact that i just laid down in my seemingly cozy, and all be it inviting looking bed only to be unpleasantly reminded that it is -8 degrees outside. You know in summer when its all hot and shitty out and you longfully search for that 1 x 2 inch square of mattress that you hope will stay cool for the the rest of the night so that you may slumber soundly rather than wake up every five minutes to remove a sticky sheet that has suctioned itself to your ass (side note: and sometimes also having to remove your own testicles from the wall of your leg.) well, now, instead i fear for the safety of my boys down under... i mean seriously... i would gladly deal with this small discomfort if i could get my sheets up to maybe 32 degrees? i dont think im asking to much, Freezing would be a welcome change to the permafrost that has become my bed... Perrrrrrrrrrrmafrost... well at least i know that in 5000 years when i defrost, ill get to be in a kick ass teen comedy about two outcast kids that learn how to be cool from a frozen dude they find in their backyard... ROCK

-i wrote this yesterday, but it wouldnt post-