Unfavorable Topography

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Hey man, do you...Do you remember that time I waited back there? Oh wow, that must have been ages ago. Look at that place, what a dump. What an incredible waste of time I spent back there. It wouldn't have been worth it other than I thought I saw God. There was ripples in the puddles. Remember it had rained the night before. But the ground was dry at most points so it was cool, at least I didn't sit back there for such a long amount of time on wet ground. But there was this puddle...it rippled so much. It was incredible. I saw a reflection, but it was the moon's face smiling at my own. The man on the moon sure knows what's up. But he wasn't the God that I saw. No, man, the rippling puddles surfaced in my heart. It was incredible. Laugh at me now, man, but I felt them, I felt my heart elongate, it breathed and let go of the rope. One of my arteries whipped up my body so fast that it hit my spine and sent the most...unbelievable feeling up my spinal chord into my brain. Wow dude. I wish, well, it was incredible. But that's not what God feels like, no, I haven't even got to that part yet. The artery triggered some sort of death inside me, well for good reason, it had detached from my heart after that rippling thing I just told you about. But the artery felt so good just lashing about in my body, I couldn't believe how awesome, in fact it was awwwweeee..., I can't even describe it. I'm sorry. But okay, cool, all right, that feeling. The ripples proved God was there. He saw me, he saw me staring at those ripples. I couldn't believe the time I sat behind there, behind that ugly place where God lived. Those ripples, I felt like I was on a hill, so elated with grandiose mountains, green forests and the yellow sun peering down. But it was dashed with a raindrop. That wasn't God, I didn't see him yet. It was not him, those ripples. God appeared much later, almost in a dream. I cannot see him, I was standing in a mall crowded with people in the middle of the night and all the stores were closed. Signs were going out left and right and people started chattering about in nonsense, it wasn't a language, their faces contorted to the way the words sounded from their non-mouth. In fact their words weren't words but sounds that their faces made when they pretended to say words but were just contorting in a way to cause the skin(?) to shake and vibrate. That dream, wow, I couldn't believe God was standing before me when I woke up from the dream when I wasn't sleeping. Later he came to me. It was still much later. He appeared out of nowhere. The raindrop had dissipated. It saw me when it was falling but failed to recognize my gaze on the rippling puddle. It didn't have time to get out of the way. I don't blame it. I can't get out of the way of many things. Several times I thought of leaving that place, sitting behind there for so long was a pain. I couldn't stand it. But then, not then, but then, God came out and took my hand. He walked over from a shadow in the park near the dumpster where the raccoons and possums I assume get their sustenance before they flee to their homes in the woods there, over there, see, I bet they come from there almost every night and snag a piece of our trash, yours and mine, I know I've dumped food in there several times hoping that some little guy would snag it and take it back to his family while they slept pretending to dream, but not dream because they are animals and to dream is impossible to them. They sit motionless in sleep and pretend to be God. They don't know how though because he comes to me, well, he came to me...once. I have yet to see him again. Those ripples sit there, motionless, still in a freezeframe. I can't believe someone preserved that scene. They must have come to that place immediately after I saw God and left, crying, in shame and proud to be...near him, with him, him, him...he...left...me...

So now I sit every night nowhere near that place. Someone preserved the ripples, like I just mentioned, someone had them frozen in time. In time I will be again near them, the wavy footsteps of the moon danced a ballet in those ripples, the wind had a waltz with a leaf, the air grabbed hold and took a ride, even if it was only for a split second. Everyone got in on the action.

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