Unfavorable Topography: 01/01/2003 - 02/01/2003

Friday, January 31, 2003

ATTN: University of Ottawa and its education-thirsting patron(s)... who are you? Did you find me on your own? I visited Ottawa last year... the weekend after Halloween to be exact. Actually, I had two Halloweens last year. At one, I dressed up as a cow and at the other I was a "trucker." It was fun.
Anyway, you now represent 0.5% of Unfavorable Topography's demographic. That is so great. Hope we don't scare you off, that wouldn't be cool.

Someone's laying on their horn outside my window right now. It can only mean one thing...
Dear Blog,

As you may have noticed my new favorite article of clothing is my cardigan! I love this thing, so i wrote it a poem. Would you like me to share? ok, here goes...

My cardigan
A poem by Pat "Jebus Jones" Knapp

Some say you're just for old men,
I say "that's a crock."
Some say you're out of style,
I say "thanks a lot!"
"You've gone and hurt cardies feelings
And you know its not true;
Cardigans aren't out of style,
That, my friend, would be you!
And furthermore sir,
I think you like it in the butt.
Because one who would say such a thing
is most certainly a slut."
So i turn to cardie and profess my love
as free as a bird,
as pure as a dove.
I love you forever, for all that you do.
If i could afford it, i'd by another cardigan
to encircle us both
and keep you warm too.


thank you for listening blog. you are a true friend.
Pat

Thursday, January 30, 2003

Blog me!

Well fuck. I just wrote this huge long thing on here, and then I tried to post it and the site screwed it up. I tried to come back to this screen...and...it was all...just gone. There was nothing. Nothing...nothing...BUT, let's review the subject matter at least. Here's what we were supposed to discuss:

1. Zwan
2. Gummo
3. New Janet Drive sessions

I think that was it.

Arby's makes world-class fingers. Request individual retail. It's not on the menu, but it's real. $.99 a finger.


(testicles)
Hey man i feel ya... i hate when my transistors get all mixed up too, i mean seriously who leaves PNPs next to NPNs... the only thing they have in common is that they're both letter samiches, haaaa...
And Sauce i once caught the sun, just cuz i got bored one day, and it turns out that its a Lionel Ritchie song... what a disappointment.

(testicles)
Dear Blog and fellow Blog frequenters,

This is my first entry and i wish to bitch while listening to the postal service, good pick fellas. So here goes, today my lab was a pain in the ass. We were trying to build a differential amplifier and we had ridiculous problems from the start. As we began our calculations we couldn't figure out how to get the resistor values to bias the third BJT so that the current source would output a constant 1mA. See, the problem was, we were working off a + supply of gnd and - supply of -12V, which through us all off. We couldn't figure out which base resistor to refernce the voltage divider with, but it turned out not to matter too much. See we finally figured out that we had to assume a Vce of approx. 6.5V, which gave us -.6V at the collector and 5v to spare across Ree. So Rb1 and Rb2 ended up being very close and it didn't matter which one was referenced. Anywho, we decided to build the darn thing an then the problems really started to come at us. Number one, which took us about an hour to figure out was that stupid Don Shaw put out some PNP's right next to the NPN's even though we weren't using the PNP's. So we assumed all the transistors were the same. So we built the circuit using two PNP's and one NPN. As it stood, half the circuit was trying to pull holes from places where there were a bunch of electrons and the other half was trying to pull electrons from a place where very few holes were being pumped and even fewer electrons, yah i know what you're thinki. Now this screwed up our bias levels, our Q points were up around 9V, when they were supposed to be at 6V, seriously, and then our common emmiter node was at +1.5V when it was supposed to be at -.6V. Anyway, we located the rogue transistors and eliminated them, making way for the proper NPN's to do their job and pump electrons into our circuit their by amplifying our input signal. Anyway, long story short, our circuit ended up working well after two hours, it had a common mode gain of .0089(very good) and a differential mode gain of about 40, and the gain didn;t drop off until we hit 100KHz, which is a nice range(audio range is 20Hz-20KHz). After that, i worked on my emag homework...for 3 hours. We had to find the motional e.m.f. and the transformer e.m.f. of a rectangular wire loop with a current through it in a rotating magnetic field, then we had to find the electrical and mechanical power, which were supposed to be equal, but somehow weren't. Anyway, long story short, we didn't finish and i don't know how to do even what we did finish. Now i must go to sleep, only to wake up and do more emag, some fourier series and fourier transforms and to top it all off i have to sit through statistics. So, I'm done, i hope you guys learned something about BJT's and the differences between NPN's and PNP's and i hope i did too. Finally, i bid thee adieu, and leave you with this: "I say, I want, I do. Everybody dance now. Why so serious, when it's only your life that's at stake?"
toot-a-loo
Pat

Wednesday, January 29, 2003

Dear Blog,

I write to you from a broken heart. The world I once knew was wiped out yesterday. All I remember was a faint light and my hand as it clasped over my little brother's mouth. I did not want to hear him scream anymore, it was hard enough to see what he tried to see. I couldn't look much longer. It was not that the sight of the world ending was bad or anything, its just that I remembered when it was beautiful and full of life, but now its a shell of its former self. "Did you see how green the grass was today?" I ask myself this every night that I can (some nights I am exhausted from living during the day that I just crash at night and fall asleep to a musical silence of my dark room or the faint buzz from artificial light) because when I ask this I remember how to reflect on what the world used to look like. To me, the world died almost fifteen years ago. It started to fade and die and not be so bright as I could remember the previous day. Fifteen years ago I remember faintly an extremely bright day where the grass was at its greenest and the sky was as blue as a t-shirt I was wearing one of the days of the first week. But how can I blame the world for becoming faint every day since I was five years old and remembered that first fond memory that etched itself into my youthful, spongy brain. Since than I have so many more great, wonderful thoughts that I hope span the end of time and wish that I could capture every one of them in a bottle and allow other people to experience them. But, with great self-guilt and doubt I realize that all of my thoughts are not wonderful, some thoughts can be downright evil and sinister. Numb, I realized I have grown from constant deliveries from devils wound in devils of sustenance that I swallow despite not knowing what it is that I am downloading into my bloodstream through wires and small microelectronic modules. But its so delicious Blog, I cannot help myself sometimes and I realize that it is not all bad. Again I am torn between something that is solar and frigid. I see the sun in the horizon and venture toward it, sometimes deceivingly thinking that I will catch it and turn it into my own song. Someday it will happen. I will devour the sun the yesterday devoured the earth. Perhaps I can create my own light and develop my own music as sustenance to live on in a small wooden room attached the devil's quarters and the many god's townhouse apartments in Buxton, Ontario. But get me out there all of you who control my fate. I love you and will embrace you and your decision to attach myself to a face and live a life that supercedes other lives. My pain is not the pain of candy hearts nor human hearts, just the beating of it can take anything away from me and the way that I feel because despite the fact the world ended yesterday and I watched it disintegrate, I feel proud to have seen such a phenomenal sight. Unless some other madman saw it and than I have to compete with the celestial race that will soon enough reach the sun soon. I am happy. The world cannot take that away from me. It is a feeling that I found that day everything started to fade and writes itself into my body each and every day for the rest of eternity. Soon enough my dear. Thank you Blog for hearing me applauding your greatness. I am grateful for the opportunity to share this with you and hope to write you again at a time when you deem it necessary. Farewell.



-Sauce, 20 years of age and loving every minute of it

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

Um, Al

You can't say 'testicles' on here.
Stee-rike one.
Ok, so its about 3:40 AM, and i just finished writing a childrens book, now what gets me is the fact that i just laid down in my seemingly cozy, and all be it inviting looking bed only to be unpleasantly reminded that it is -8 degrees outside. You know in summer when its all hot and shitty out and you longfully search for that 1 x 2 inch square of mattress that you hope will stay cool for the the rest of the night so that you may slumber soundly rather than wake up every five minutes to remove a sticky sheet that has suctioned itself to your ass (side note: and sometimes also having to remove your own testicles from the wall of your leg.) well, now, instead i fear for the safety of my boys down under... i mean seriously... i would gladly deal with this small discomfort if i could get my sheets up to maybe 32 degrees? i dont think im asking to much, Freezing would be a welcome change to the permafrost that has become my bed... Perrrrrrrrrrrmafrost... well at least i know that in 5000 years when i defrost, ill get to be in a kick ass teen comedy about two outcast kids that learn how to be cool from a frozen dude they find in their backyard... ROCK

-i wrote this yesterday, but it wouldnt post-

Saturday, January 25, 2003

Look outside today.
Here's something for all y'all to check out. This is my current "Best Song Ever Made Anywhere Ever." Strangely enough, my current favorite song comes from an odd source: Former one-hit-wonders Harvey Danger. Who doesn't recall the delightful rock n' roll romp of the short-lived hit single "Flagpole Sitta"? However, I managed to come across a track from the band's sophomore effort, a little tune called "Pike St./Park Slope."

So give it a listen, you won't be disappointed: Harvey Danger's "Pike St./Park Slope."

Thursday, January 23, 2003

Hey Mark...

Your epidermis is showing.
Good e'en to all. Quick thought...Here's a list of things to NEVER DO while you're shopping for vittles and foodstuffs at the delightful vender known as Wegmans:

1) While shopping at Wegmans, NEVER go into the vegetable department and pick up a prickly pair and say to your companion "Hey, look, it's a prickly pair." Har-dee-har-har, laughs all around, right? Because prickly pairs are funny, right? INCORRECT. NEVER DO THIS. That is of course unless you're particularly in the mood to spend the rest of your would-be pleasant shopping experience clawing frantically at your hands, futilely trying to smote out the visciously painful microscopic burrs that have been ground into your outer epidermis, burning as if the dark master of the netherwold himself had infested your poor little paws.

That is all.
Thought I'd comment on the weather. Blustery, cold, and muddy slush wherever you go. It definitely calls for an assesment of sidewalk topography, because if you get too full of yourself you're just asking for trouble. A bump on the head or a soggy bottom.

Mark it's good to see you've joined this crazy free-for-all and I look forward to you sharing many more of your kooky adventures in the future. I hope Wayne's uncle didn't flip out or anything like last time (that was whack), because I know he's quite the stickler for thomfoolery. That reminds me, if for some reason you are reading this and think you'd enjoy writing nonsensical streams of consciousness right here on this very page between the hours of midnight and 4am (or whenever you want!!!) please drop one of us a line and we'll set ya up real quick.

Am keeping my fingers crossed for some good, relaxing, uninteruppted snoozing tonight. Who would've thought these concrete walls are defenseless against the hooting and hollering of my last-letter-of-the-alphabet-loving next door neighbor and his pals' much-deserved "oh my gawd!'s". Niagra.

I've lost my train of thought, found it, and then lost it again. In any event, we're playing a show next Tuesday night at the Planet 505 on Westcott for you locals. 3 bands all together, around 9 or 10pm. To the best of my knowledge, this will be the first time said band will be playing under the bright lights of the 505, at least in this incarnation, so come on out and keep your sweetheart and your beer nestled close to your heart. Just leave a little room for janet drive, too.

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

Well I'll be. We certainly did it, didn't we boys? First things first, everything went fine. The surgery went ahead as planned and the doctor even said that it went quicker than expected. Thanks to all those who came to visit me in the hospital. I've never seen so many fruit baskets in my life! But it's all good, I'm just a little tired. I'll be in this damn bed for at least a week, then wheelchair, then crutches, the whole deal. Unfortunately, my chances of regaining complete use of it is unlikely, even though they were able to reattach nearly 87% of the original tissue. But between us, it was worth it wasn't it? WHOO! I mean, seriously, the shit that went down that night will NEVER be forgotten. Two things are specifically engraved into my memory: 1) Hearing Wayne yelling "GUYS! At least take the fucking flag down before my uncle gets back!!!" over and over and over again and 2) Seeing the look on the goddamn horse's face. Unbelievable. At least we won. I just can't believe we pulled it off. That's what months of planning will do for you, I guess. Well, my muscles are cramping up (one of the side effects, apparently) so I'll have to bid you adieu. If you guys get a chance, just apologize to Karen for me. Later!
...as to the meaning of the title of the website "Unfavorable Topography"? What does it really mean? Is it a meaning of life and the treks we face as humans trudging through the vast space that is our lives or is it the landscape of our minds as we create our own future? I apologize for getting a little 'emo' on the folks viewing this website. I do this sort of thing for a living though. I work mostly with small infants and make sure they start being philosophical at an early age. Its what I do best. At the end of the day when I realize I have neither helped nor herded young children in a small group and read them a story from the Wall Street Journal is the best part of the day and I go to bed completely satisfied that my work here on earth is completely justified in no particular manner whatsoever. If you have a dream, then I say dream it. Dream it all the way to the top. Doing things will only get you so far. Its your dreams that make all the difference. So please dream if you have to, but make sure your roommate isn't asleep because he has to make sure your dreams don't die while you are asleep. Good luck and sleep tight.

Monday, January 20, 2003

euroskibum: so im like

Auto response from Orangesauce: so I look to my eskimo friend

euroskibum: i wonder what bill and sauce are up to
euroskibum: hmmm, their away messages should give hint as to where they might be
euroskibum: and then i see
euroskibum: "so i look to my eskimo friend"
euroskibum: and
euroskibum: "sherrrrf"
euroskibum: riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
euroskibum signed off at 9:46:42 PM.
I woke up this morning and figured I would select the top five songs of now that make the world go round and that make water stay afloat and make fire crave oxygen and burn ferociously in front of your face on the beach. Songs that prove depth perception exists only in our minds and that could kill an astronaut in space or on earth in 2.6 seconds using just a pimento...why an astronaut you ask? Well, simply because astronauts have experienced something that mere mortals could only catch a glimpse of when they are walking home inebriated on a starry, frigid winter night in Biloxi, Mississippi.
(Done in the Martinian style of counting down from 5 to 1 and putting the number 1 song in BOLD)

5. Braid - Killing a camera
4. Deep Puddle Dynamics - Where the wild things are
3. Iron and Wine - Lion's Mane
2. The Postal Service - The District sleeps alone tonight
1. the pAper chAse - I did a terrible thing

Friday, January 17, 2003

Oh boy...that's all I can say is "oh boy". For those reading this with vigor and parsnips I assure you that we are the greatest Bill and Chris (excuse me Sauce) tandem that ever ventured this earth. Not sure what that means, but c'mon, who on this wicked place can say that they have not lived so much as a day and lived more than a day twenty times over...jesus, what am I talking about? Well, you might like to know that I have come along way since the beginning of primordial earth and still hope to gain a litte more knowledge and mature a little bit before I hit my two hundred and eighty first birthday. All said and done, I would like to thank the people who came out tonight and wished us a good life and a good show. I appreciate it immensely. You might not know that, but its a great feeling to know that you can fall back on some people who will not leave and if they do leave, you know that the time you spent together was meant to be and that leaving is just a long good bye and hiatus. Along time ago people formed on the planet and said they would never let anything get between them and another...it rarely happens that we resort to thinking like a cro-magnon or neanderthal man, but it happens, I am not sure when but I'm sure it does, it has to. Sooner or later we'll all agree that god doesn't like comic books...its just a matter of when. Until next time I feel saucy enough to lay thoughts on tracks over beats...
She's in the fucking phone book! She should be living on Neptune! She's a myth, a legend! Not somebody in the phone book!
More to come.


Tuesday, January 07, 2003

Jesus you are right about those albums Bill. Like I said I did it on the spot. Also, I wanted to add Flaming Lips' album Yoshimi battles the pink robots, Mr. Lif's I Phantom, and Hayden's Skyscraper National Park...the list just gets bigger and bigger.

No snow today, but really cold and really windy...I, of course, went outside with a sweater and a scarf, but that's because I have trained myself to become more like the winter and a little harsher and frostier myself.

Ooh ooh, really funny, elitist news...have you checked out Pitchfork recently and their request for hip hop reviewer writers? I think I might check it out, but on the other hand they might be far too elitist and technical for me. Ah well, it doesn't hurt to try.

Looking forward to seeing you again my friend and Krauser too. I don't think the Booth jump will have a big impact. It'll make things more exciting.

Now its time for a Tofutti break...

Monday, January 06, 2003

Another round of snow today, is there more on the way? I'll have the details coming up.

That top 10 list looked pretty swanky, college roommate. I think if I could I would add Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, Glassjaw's Worship and Tribute, and of course Owen's No Good For No One Now especially for that "not gettin' laid no more" demographic of the population. Talk about three amazing, but very different, records. I'm vowing to pick up the HHH before I leave here this weekend.

Yep so everything else looks pretty much in line. Wawa's turkey hoagies have been my midnight snack of choice lately... I think I'm developing a problem here. No, there aren't any Wawas in central new york. Only stale, flat sbarro pizza and day old dunkin' donuts. That's right, I said it.

That show Dan used to frequently watch last year is on the Dumont right now. You know the one where the British guys dress up in elaborate animal suits (squirrels, penguins, etc.) and embark on crazy adventures, hunting unsuspecting pedestrians. Man, how is Dan going to be eyes AND ears next semester? You so crazy 2x, hopefully 3x since you'll be living in Booth now. Anyone get that?

Speaking of movie commercials that never stop, how about the one with that 70s kid and the fictitious Kim Mathers? I think that one's been seen a few hundred times by these untrained eyes.

Saturday, January 04, 2003

So it is the end of the year and all I see around this crazy world are best so-and-so of the year and I thought about making up my own top ten list of best albums of 2002 or something like that...so here goes:

Da duh duh da...Christopher Adam Sauchak's top ten albums of 2002 (in no particular order??????)

1. Hot Hot Heat - Make up the breakdown
2. Interpol - Turn on the bright lights
3. Atmosphere - God loves ugly
4. Sigur Ros - ()
5. Capital D and the Molemen - Writer's block
6. Bright Eyes - Lifted...
7. ...Trail of Dead - Source codes and tags
8. Godspeed You Black Emperor! - Yanqui u.x.o *Not as good as the others and some people would say they are a very weak choice but motherfucker=redeemer sold me.
9. Pedro the Lion - Control
10. Iron and Wine - The creek drank the cradle. The director of the F.B.I said it was "Warm...and Mandatory" and some judge said it was "A Required Romp" Yes, these are similar to the praise for Coupon: The Movie. Go figure.

I just came up with these on the spot...I hope all of these albums actually came out in the past year...oh please god don't let me be wrong or offend anyone with these picks. I just want to make the music gods happy and bill and all the crew at D-Muze (Dearborn Music ---- big ups/shout outs/happy fun calls to BG, Chuck/Chazz, Craig, Mustafa, and some of the others!!!!! COLLEGE!!!!!) Bill - if it wasn't for you man, none of this -ish would be possible. Thanks. And I'll see you underneath a blanket of stars (and our dorm room) in Syracuse. Sorry if that sounded creepy. I just love you dude! Dan - you are my eyes and ears man. If you're not sure what that means then come talk to me, I might know how to explain it, or I might not. It is what it is!!!! Boo-yah achieved and the rest of the crew. Jane - get me off this crazy thing. Thanks a lot.


Sidenote: I do believe Hot Hot Heat's album was the best of the year and I was listening to Atmosphere's album today and realized that even though its not as good as the other ones it is still a classic album. Also, David Cross' Shut up you fucking baby tops this years best comedy albums and perhaps one of the greatest of all time. Why?!? Well, because he is hilarious, risque, funny, controversial and humorous. And of course it is on Sub Pop. Whatever that means! Ha Ha, I am above that last statement. I don't even know why I said it. Whoo-hoo. Go Orange!!!

Wednesday, January 01, 2003

Well. Michigan won, Notre Dame lost. I think the most redeeming quality of this holiday season has been the many puppy-dogs I've been able to share time with lately.

sunkist new year / bitchy chrissy
I'm sorry my posts are so short. The band and I have been working a lot and spending a lot of time with the family throughout the holiday season, but since its the new year we hope to be getting our record out soon and reaping the benefits. Whoo-hoo! Anyways, I'll have more extensive information about the new record and possible tour dates soon enough. So hold tight and celebrate the new year with friends and family. Enjoy life as much as possible, I know I am going to try. Peace be with you.